Obsessive

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) – a textbook definition:

An anxiety disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas, or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions), such as hand washing, checking on things, cleaning, counting, etc.

Most people hear “OCD” and think of “cleaning obsessions”, “germs and contamination issues”, “counting repetitions”, or other sort of repetitive habits. The most common portrayals of OCD and OCD-like behaviors in the media Continue reading “Obsessive”

My First One

My gown was lifted and all I could think was she’s inside me. She’s inside me. She’s inside me.

I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening. I felt burning. Bright lights. Grinding teeth. Sweat accumulating inside my fists. Tears stinging my eyes.

Thoughts flew through my head. Why is she twisting that way? How long is this going to last? It’s only been 2 minutes? I can’t do this. Is she seriously talking about her dog right now?

Continue reading “My First One”

Through My Lens

When I’m looking through my lens things don’t exist like

Fear

Heights

Danger

There is only me, my lens, and the scene. And all that matters is capturing what I feel in that moment when I look at whatever it is I’m shooting. I want to be able to look at that image and remember that feeling. I want to feel exactly what I’m feeling in that moment again.

It’s like I become someone else. Someone who’s not afraid to take risks, to have fun. Anxious would certainly not be a word used to describe me.  Continue reading “Through My Lens”